My Last 5 Diary Entries

It will be my first time...... - 2005-03-28

"Fun Times on McClellan Street" - 2005-02-23

"Dress Rehearsal" - 2005-02-05

DON'T DO IT!! - 2005-02-02

Here We Go! - 2004-12-31

Sweet Peeps

"1 SWEET NTRY"

�1 SWEET NTRY�

I swear to God it is a miracle I even made it home tonight. Why don�t people understand that when it is raining so dam hard that visibility is like 12 inches, they need to slow the fuck down?!? There are always some complete nimrods who think that because they have a SUV, they are invincible. Wrong! The truth of the matter is that the only thing a bigger vehicle does when it hydroplanes is take out more cars with them! This in turn delays my trip home and I am pissed because I need to see if Ken is going to beat the shit out of two more dumb asses on Jeopardy! Have you guys seen this cat? He is one smart MeFFer! He is currently a 25 day champ with over $788,000. He will probably never get beat because the only person smarter than him is Alex Trebek (Mr. I have the answers right in front of me) and he ain�t allowed to play.

Anyways, as I was sitting still on the interstate I was looking around at all the stupid vanity license plates around me. The DMV is laughing its ass off all the way to the bank as they deposit the millions of dollars people spend on these things.

The problem I have with them is this�..If you must have a personalized plate, please, for the love of God, get one that the rest of the world understands. There were two such stupid mini billboards in the parking lot where I work. One was �NOX2PLA� and the other was �B4UQQME�. No one and I mean absolutely no one could figure out what they meant. So, begrudgingly, I had to track these Einstein�s down and ask them to explain. The first means �No time to Play,� with what I do not know, and the latter means �Before You Accuse Me,� a song by Eric Clapton.

More irritating than the ones that you just can�t figure out are the ones that you can read but are just plain stupid. For example, �1 HOT GT�, �1 BAD Z�, and on a ragtop Camaro, �IROC RAG.� Thanks for the tips because the chrome name plate from the factory wasn�t telling me shit!

Furthermore, all of the whoremasters who have an incredible need to advertise their skankiness, should stop. It really is not necessary for them to have things such as �I GIV HED,� �HNK 4 SEX,� �GANGBANG,� �IN DA BUT,� and �LGS APART� on their license plates for us to know that they are a five dollar ho. This is totally evident from the numerous herpes lesions on their lips and the fog of funk that surrounds them.

Let it also be known, that anybody who puts a Bible verse on their car, will be disappointed to find out that I am not going to be inclined to go home and break out the King James version to look it up! This is far too much work.