2004-08-02 - 9:27 p.m.
�Get There�On Time!�
�Get There�On Time!� One of my greatest pet peeves ever is tardiness. As far as I am concerned there are only a few acceptable excuses for being late. These would include an untimely accident that leaves you battered, bruised, maimed or other wise dead or, wait there is no or. The accident thing is the only exception. I am not a total bitch about it. I allow up to ten minutes past the scheduled time before I start calling you bad, very bad names. Anything beyond this is quite frankly, rude. I don�t do it and I expect, no demand, to be given the same consideration. Tardiness has gotten so out of control it is pathetic. I find that I have to lie to and manipulate people to get them somewhere on time. For example: For the last month I have been planning a party. I wanted the party to begin at noon on Saturday. The effed up part is that I had to basically do two different invitations. One for the nice, respectful people who are always on time (their invite said noon) and one for the assholes who will ultimately be late for their own effing funeral (their invite said 11:30). Our society as a whole needs to be less tolerable of tardiness. A few places have already put their foot down and will now charge your trifling ass for being late. The Doctor�s office is one such place. Show up more than fifteen minutes after your appointment if you want to and your ass will be sent home to die and be billed anyway. However, I do have a gripe with the doctor�s office. We can�t be late for our appointment but they sure don�t mind leaving our asses sit in the waiting room for up to an hour past said appointment. One thing is for sure, if you weren�t really sick when you got there, rest assured you would be by the time they call you back. Between all the sick, mucous dripping kids who cough and don�t cover their mouths and the old people hooked up to various machines, you will definitely contract something that is sure to put you out of commission for 3-5 days (at which time you will be required to return for a follow-up). Why is it that their time is more important than ours? If we sit for more than fifteen minutes, I think we should be allowed to charge them. Fair is fair! Another reason why being late is unacceptable, clocks. They are everywhere. In your house, in your car, on the walls in public places, on your computer and on your cell phone (which you have with you all the time and if need be can be used to call the operator to get the time). The only good thing about having a problem with being prompt is that it can be easily fixed. Please don�t make the mistake of setting all of your clocks so they are ten minutes fast. Why do people think this works? If you know the clock is ten minutes fast it is not fooling you. You are just going to look at it and say �Oh I still have ten minutes.� (Because you know it is set wrong nimrod!) This will only work if someone sneaks in your house when you are gone and resets your clocks. Start by getting ready fifteen minutes earlier than normal. In doing this, you will leave fifteen minute earlier. Thus, if you are always fifteen minutes late, you will hence forth be on time. Shocking how simple the logic is huh? Don�t worry the bill is in the mail.
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