2004-07-10 - 11:51 p.m.
"Will that be smoking, or non?"
�Will that be smoking, or non?� Much to my irritation, I get asked this mundane question more and more every day. Why does it irritate me so much? Because the jerkweeds asking really don�t give a rats ass what my answer is. Let�s paint a little scenario shall we? You and a companion walk into a nice restaurant (and by nice I mean someplace better than the Sizzler but not quite Tavern on the Green). A seemingly nice young hostess flashes her pearly whites and says, �Good evening. Two for dinner?� (Yeah two. One, two. Unless of course you count the 4 imaginary friends hiding in my ass.) �Will that be smoking, or non?� You say �Non� and your friend says �Smoking.� Because neither of you wants to be an ass, you both say it doesn�t matter. �It�s okay,� says the girl. �I have the perfect table for you two. Follow me.� Since the shortest distance between two points is the path that has five turns and two set of steps, Miss Ultra Bright walks you through the bar to a quaint little table for two. So you start to sit down and she says �Oh no, wait. That seat is for your friend. You should sit on the other side of the table.� �What�s the difference,� you ask. �Oh, that side of the table is smoking and this side is non.� Thanks for making the goddam distinction! I can only hope and pray (wait can I say �pray� in the same entry with �goddam?�) that the management has found a way to train the smoke not to cross the equator, which is the freakin candle holder in the middle of the table. That is a smart sum bitch right there! I think all restaurants should be completely smoke free. Smoking is a choice (a stupid choice). Breathing is not. Thank you. P.S. Still sorry about the fouled up last 5 entries. I don�t know what the dam problem is and I don�t possess enough anger management skills to deal with it at this time. I have convinced myself that in time, it will work itself out.
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Steppin' Back - Movin' On
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