My Last 5 Diary Entries

It will be my first time...... - 2005-03-28

"Fun Times on McClellan Street" - 2005-02-23

"Dress Rehearsal" - 2005-02-05

DON'T DO IT!! - 2005-02-02

Here We Go! - 2004-12-31

Sweet Peeps

TMI

That�s right there is such a thing as Too Much Information (TMI). This would consist of the inclusion of any information in a story that might just, well, make me sick kay? Why do people find it necessary to share things that nobody and I do mean nobody wants to hear?

For example. I do not have any problem whatsoever with anyone who is gay. It�s the God�s honest truth. However you want to get your groove on is okie dokie with me. I do however draw the line at hearing about, in full detail, the sordid rompings and such between gay men. This is what we will revert back to from here on out as a text book example of Too Much Information. For real, simply knowing someone is gay paints me a pretty good picture of the sex acts (and I say rock on if that is the way you bounce). Any embellishments for the sake of clarity are totally unnecessary.

I used to work with this woman whose middle name should have been TMI. This hussie (pronounced huzzy) would find a way to induce vomiting with the simplest of stories. Like the time she told the story of how everyone in her house had been sick the night before. She starts out with �I had a terrible night. Everybody in my house was throwing up all night long.� Okay. STOP right there. We understand and we get the point nothing else need be said�right? Wrong. Continuing, she says �Yeah it started with the baby coming in our room saying �tummy hurt� and my husband said �baby need go poo poo?� By the time we got her to the bathroom she had shit and puked (her words not mine) all over herself and in my hair. Then my oldest came in and she started puking in the sink. Well the smell from all of that made my husband start puking��..� You can see that this too is a clear example of TMI. Not only did the story itself make me sick but later I remember thinking that during her whole dissertation, never once did she mention any one of those funked up ass people taking a bath. (**Shudder)

The truth is people should know better but alas they do not. I think they find joy in grossing people out. So from now on in an attempt to block them out, when they start crossing the line, we should all shout to the top of our lungs �TMI�, place our hands over our ears while going �la la la la la I can�t hear you,� and when they are finished beat the living shit out of them.

I�m movin� on�..