My Last 5 Diary Entries

It will be my first time...... - 2005-03-28

"Fun Times on McClellan Street" - 2005-02-23

"Dress Rehearsal" - 2005-02-05

DON'T DO IT!! - 2005-02-02

Here We Go! - 2004-12-31

Sweet Peeps

Mr. Sandman, "You're Fired!!"

How long, exactly, can one person go without sufficient sleep before their body just says eff it and keels over and dies? I am not quite sure but I do know that approximately three weeks in, everyday life is still somewhat functionable. I know because I have not been able to sleep properly for at least this long, maybe longer. Who knows? I may have just lost track. What year is this again? Anybody know?

It is not a matter of being sleepy. I get totally sleepy. This of course happens at the most inopportune times imaginable. Like the Monday morning �weekly team meeting� at work. When I get in there you might as well sing me a lullaby and rock me gently because my tired ass will doze off if the conversation lags for even a millisecond. And there is no hiding it either. This little micro nap comes fully loaded with a bit of snoring for entertainment purposes. It is terribly embarrassing but I can�t help it dude.

I don�t know what it is. I have had bouts of insomnia before but this is ridiculous. I have tried all of my usual tricks, watching TV, reading, etc., but they don�t help. Oh, and here is a little tidbit some of you may not know about. Counting sheep to fall asleep don�t work worth shit. Believe you me, I have tried. Have even replaced those bleating bastards with monkeys, cats, and for some godforsaken reason, two-toed sloths. The reasoning for the latter being that by the time they get their slow asses across the fence I will be off in la la land. Instead, they just piss me off because I keep losing count.

Some people have suggested: think happy thoughts. Make yourself dream of what you want to dream about. Not a bad idea, not bad at all and it does work---sometimes. I will lie there thinking of this particular guy (I won�t call any names, but feel free to imagine who this might be) I know. I ain�t just talking happy hand-holding thoughts either. Some of these thoughts require an �R� rating at the least with a hard lean toward �X.� Oh, don�t act so shocked. We all do it. It�s okay. Anyway, these thoughts, or imaginations if you will, do occasionally allow me to drift away. You talk about a happy place. Things don�t get much happier than that folks. This is all good to me and I can feel myself smiling in my sleep. Then I wake up thinking how wonderful, I finally got some sleep only to look over at the clock and see that only about two hours have passed. But hey, the dream was good anyway.

What to do? What to do? Sleeping pills maybe? I really am a little leery of those things. I am afraid my next day functioning would be impaired more so than it is due to a lack of sleep. Besides, I fear I could become addicted to them and that would not be good. I would hate for you all to see Dan Rather doing a showcase on my ass after I knock over a few WalGreens in an attempt to get more Ambien. A new mattress perhaps? Naaa, the bed is plenty comfortable. The problem may be that the bed is just plenty empty if you know what I mean. Nothing like some good cuddling to induce a coma-like sleep. I need to work on that.

Well I reckon I will just have to wait it out. It can�t last forever can it? God I hope not. Besides I know I can sleep. I have done it many times before so at least I know I am capable and not just a big goober who doesn�t know how. There is a little comfort, no?

I�m movin� on�..