2004-08-31 - 4:07 a.m.
Mother Nature's Revenge
I don�t know who it is, but somebody has pissed Mother Nature off in a big, make that a very big way. I am pretty sure though that it was some dick or dickette from Virginia. Mother Nature�s plan for revenge? Drown those effers! Let�s start with the fact that before yesterday (which will be deemed �the day all hell broke loose�) we already had the second wettest August ever. This in itself had already way laid the old Commonwealth with major problems. It has been so wet that baseball fields are unplayable, everyone�s grass is up to their ass (albeit green like nobody�s business) and finding a dry enough day to cut it is purt near impossible, some drinking water is not fit to well drink, and worst of all the entire state has become nothing more than a breeding ground for mosquitoes gicanticus. No lie. Those bastards sound like helicopters coming in. You can hear them before you ever see them. That, my friends, is some scary shiznnit. I use the plural because in their gargantual state, they have become smarter. Like freakin velosa (spelling?) raptors out this motherfucker. They work in groups stalking your ass then attacking. Also, they are quite particular when choosing their prey. They don�t just want any blood. They want my blood (or blood like mine anyway). I swear, I can be outside with a group of oh say ten other people and they will zone in on my ass buffet style. The other folks? Not getting a single bite, laughing at yours truly running from the bitches. I ask you WTF is that all about? As I mentioned we have already had too much rain already. So now comes yesterday. �The day all hell broke loose.� The last official word I heard at 5:00 p.m. was that we had gotten over 4 inches of rain since midnight. It continued to rain for a solid 5 hours after that. Now, I am no meteorologist, but I don�t have to be to know that this constitutes a lot of rain at one time. It was very evident from the shittin ass flood that swept over our asses. It was awful. Simply awful. I arrived home about three hours after leaving work. And it wasn�t just because of your ordinary side roads being flooded; I-95 was shut down, in both directions because of three feet of not standing, but raging water. Nice that this should happen right at rush hour huh? Richmond international Airport looked like something from a movie. All you could see were the runway lights showing just above the water that covered the runways and fields. Let�s just say that the only planes landing there last night were the ones of the Fantasy Island variety (you know with the little float thingys). And if all of the rain wasn�t bad enough, enter the tornadoes. That�s right kids, tornadoes ain�t just for Kansas anymore. There were confirmations of a few nearby and many reports of possible others. Don�t you just love it when people see an effing tornado, but the powers that be will not call it a tornado until they �confirm� it? I suppose the five trees and overturned car in some dude�s yard aren�t �confirmation� enough. Well, our trusty governor declared a �state of emergency.� In the infamous words of Jackie, �thinks.� They say all of this was what remained of hurricane/tropical storm Gaston. And the good news folks, hurricane Frances is on her way. Forgive me for being a bit skittish but it was around this time last year that we had Isabel who, in short, was nobody�s friend. Well, I reckon the only thing we can do it sit back and buckle up because it looks like it is for damn sure going to be a bumpy ride. I�m movin� on��
14 Whatcha think?
Steppin' Back - Movin' On
| 