My Last 5 Diary Entries

It will be my first time...... - 2005-03-28

"Fun Times on McClellan Street" - 2005-02-23

"Dress Rehearsal" - 2005-02-05

DON'T DO IT!! - 2005-02-02

Here We Go! - 2004-12-31

Sweet Peeps

�Chivalry Better not be Dead!�

�Chivalry Better not be Dead!�

I need to know right now, who the hell started all these women pride e-mails that keep cluttering up my mailbox! Whoever you are you need to stop this instant. They are not funny but stupid. I am sick and tired of hearing weak ass women bitch in rhyme.

The women sending these things have some serious issues. They are always bashing men, wanting pity for their �moon time� and mad props for being able to have a kid. They act like being a woman is, number one, a chore, number two so damn intellectual, and number three, something they deserve a goddam blue ribbon for. Freaks.

Allow me to recite a verse or two from the most recent of these �Bitch Raps� to make it�s way to me. �I can balance the checkbook; I can pump my own gas. Can talk to my friends, about the size of my ass.� Whoopdy shit! Great job on the checkbook and gas (these are like two essential life skills that everyone possesses). But personally, I don�t discuss my ass with my friends and furthermore, why would a man even care about his?

And another, �I won't lose my hair, I don't get jock itch. And just cause I'm assertive,

Don't call me a bitch.� The hair is not a factor due to the convenience of Tasha�s House of Hair down the street. Yes, you do get jock itch; only you call it a yeast infection. And assertive has nothing to do with it, you will be called a bitch because you piss and whine and complain about bullshit all the time. Cut it out!

I came up with a little verse of my own for all of the poor wittle girls who can barely handle all the demands of being a woman. �I am a girl, My life is so hard, My hair won�t curl, Because I�m a tard!� And another from a friend of mine: �I am a dumb bitch, My IQ is two. I try to make up for it by making men feel like poo.�

Being an independent woman is way overrated. It is nice to have a gentleman open a door or give up his jacket. A lot of them don�t anymore because they are afraid some liberated, I don�t need no man to do nothing for me, female will cuss him out. I hereby give permission to all men to slap the living shit out of any woman who conducts herself in this manner.

Get over yourselves for Christ sake! I for one love men. I think they are neat. And guess what else. All men are not gorgeous, kind, or even smart but, hellooooo, neither are all women.

And by the by, no one is intimidated by the asinine threat at the end: �You must forward this to at least 4 FEMALES or you will have a HORRIBLE streak of bad love life.� You will have a bad love life for one reason, and one reason only, because you are a prude.

I am done.